Forgive and forget

So everyone keeps telling me that in order to really move on from a situation you must learn to forgive and forget. I don’t really think it’s that easy in some cases. I’ve always considered myself a pretty open-minded person, I’m also the least judgmental person I know. To be honest, judging just isn’t my style. So to the issue of forgiving and forgetting, it can be very difficult. I have been hurt in the form of being lied to about important things, been cheated on by my ex husband (while we were married, and I was pregnant) yet I still manage to find a way to trust new people who come into my life even though my trust has always been betrayed. When I discovered my husband at the time had cheated, I wanted to punch him in the throat, with a bat. We talked about it, and I was able to move on from the hurt, due to the fact that the love in our relationship was already diminishing. To this day we are able to be civil and be friends without any old wounds getting in the way. So with him I was able to forgive him, of course I don’t think I’ll ever forget what happened, but I harbor no ill feelings toward him. Now as easy as it was in that case I can’t say the same for the case with Tom, the guy I mentioned in a previous blog. With Tom, I was in love…so deep in love it scared me. Some of the things he did to me and the way he treated me has haunted me. I was recently faced with the issue of forgiving and forgetting when out of nowhere Tom called me and asked if we could be friends because he missed the friendship we forged before we were in a relationship. I hung up on him because I didn’t know how to react exactly. My heart said yes I want him in my life, My head said, Don’t be a fool he hurt you and had plenty of chances to change and didn’t. I called him back 2 days later and said, Okay lets give it a try. 20 minutes into texting the next day he fucked it all up. It’s just like Tom to come in when I’m doing good and shit all over my life. I don’t think I will ever be able to truly forgive him, and I damn sure wont forget the things he has done. Hopefully one day I can forgive him, for my own sanity and for the sake of not wanting to run him over every time I see him. I’ve come to terms and peace with everything and everyone else in my life that has hurt me, Tom is the only person I need to forgive, rather he deserves it or not, I deserve the inner peace.