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Feelings? They suck. When you think you are doing so good and not thinking about them and everything is going so well…They text you. Its like what the hell, do you have some weird magical radar that goes off and says” I think shes happy and doing good, time to swoop in and shit all over her world”. With that one simple stupid text “I miss you” causes so many feelings to flood my mind. So as I sat there staring at that text message, wishing I was dreaming it all I took another puff off my menthol cigarette contemplating what to do. I can either reply with a “fuck off” like so many times before or I can ignore it. Not really knowing how to respond or what I should do, I ignored it. I set my phone down, downed a wine cooler and headed to bed. Then at 3am, in the middle of a very peaceful sleep my phone goes off waking me up. It was him, he who shall not be mentioned. Why the call? Maybe by not responding he didn’t get the message and needed to hear it in person? At that hour I managed to grumble out a hello. Everything he said was the same he has been saying since we broke up. I love you, miss you, care about you, need you, want to make love to you…blah blah blah. I couldn’t think, couldn’t process it, and so I hung up. I had the hardest time falling asleep after that. I tossed and turned for about an hour and a half thinking about his words and how they made me feel. Its too much, too emotional for me. So I grabbed me a wine cooler, lit up a cigarette, and was able to forget everything for a minute. I hate that the feelings come and go, I hate that I think of him. I guess that’s what happens when you love someone, Even if you break up, you can’t force the love to go away, only time can do that.