Friends?….Maybe Not

Ah, the joys of friendship. You spend six years thinking you’ve found your ride-or-die, your partner in crime, only to realize they’re nothing but a two-faced, toxic tornado wreaking havoc on your life. Meet the queen of self-absorption, the master of manipulation, the one and only Drama Queen.

At first, you’re blinded by the glittering facade of friendship. You think you’ve hit the jackpot with someone who’s always there for you, laughing at your jokes, sharing your secrets, and pretending to give a damn about your life. Little did you know, you were just an extra in her one-woman show, “The World According to Me.”

She’s the kind of friend who’s always vying for the spotlight, hogging the conversation like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. Every story, every problem, every triumph has to revolve around her. It’s like being trapped in an endless loop of her own personal reality TV series, where you’re just the supporting character in her drama-filled saga.

But wait, there’s more! Not only is she the center of attention, but she’s also the conductor of the hot mess express. While you’re out there hustling and grinding, trying to make something of yourself, she’s lounging on the couch, binge-watching reality TV and complaining about how unfair life is. She’s the living embodiment of laziness, a professional procrastinator with a PhD in excuses.

And let’s not forget her favorite pastime: sabotaging your success. Oh yes, she’s the ultimate dream crusher, the queen of undermining your ambitions. God forbid you start to shine brighter than her dim little spotlight. Suddenly, she’s whispering poison in your ear, planting seeds of doubt, and doing everything in her power to drag you down to her level of mediocrity.

So here’s to you, Drama Queen, with all the sarcasm and sass I can muster. Thanks for six years of emotional roller coasters, passive-aggressive jabs, and soul-sucking negativity. But guess what? The curtain’s closing on this toxic friendship, and I’m walking out of your one-woman show for good. You can keep the spotlight; I’ll take my peace of mind any day.