Damn Facebook

Trying to maintain a sunny disposition is like walking a tightrope above a pit of angry alligators. Most days, I’m all about the good vibes and positive energy. But every now and then, something pops up and pokes that big, red “do not press” button on my temper. Case in point: the other day, out of nowhere, Facebook – which I’ve never allowed to invade my peace with push notifications – decides to send me a friend suggestion. And who is it? None other than my ex. Yep, the same ex who ripped my heart out, stomped on it, and then lit it on fire for good measure. The one whose name I can’t hear without feeling like I need a shower.

When we were together, we didn’t add each other on social media because he wasn’t active on it, among other perfectly valid reasons. And during the entire time we dated, and even after, Facebook never once thought to suggest him. Not once. But now, out of the blue, it decides to throw his name into my face like some cruel joke. Thanks, Facebook. Really, just what I needed.

What’s the deal, Zuckerberg? Are you running out of friend suggestions so badly that you have to start digging up the ghosts of relationships past? It’s been ages since we broke up, and yet here he is, popping up on my phone like a bad sequel no one asked for. The nerve of it really struck me – like, what kind of cosmic joke is this? Is the algorithm designed to find the exact person who would annoy me the most and serve them up with a side of heartbreak for dinner? Because if so, mission accomplished.

Anyway, I’m back to trying to keep my cool, but sometimes you just need to vent. So, here’s to staying sunny, even when life throws a storm your way. And here’s to hoping Facebook gets its act together and stops suggesting my exes. I’d rather be suggested a pet rock.