And For The First Time

Healing after a relationship is such a personal journey, one that can’t really be rushed or fit neatly into a timeline. It’s been about a year since my relationship ended, and I’ve spoken before about how that process has been for me. Lately, I’ve noticed that things feel different in a way I didn’t expect but really appreciate.

This week, I drove by a few places that used to mean so much to us, places we’d go to all the time when we were together. For a moment, memories of him came rushing back, but something was missing. I wasn’t overwhelmed with emotion like I used to be. There was no lump in my throat, no sudden weight on my chest. It felt strange, almost like my heart had made room for those memories without letting them control me anymore. Maybe it’s because I’ve been avoiding those places for so long, trying to shield myself from the feelings they might bring up. Or maybe it’s because, in my own quiet way, I’ve been healing.

I won’t lie—I think a part of me will always love him. He was my person, the one I fell so deeply in love with that I don’t think I’ll ever fully let go. I don’t even know if I want to. I believe everyone has that one person who leaves an unshakable mark on them, someone they never truly get over. For me, he’s that person. When I think about those places, they’re like snapshots of us at our best—when we were happy, when we were in love, when it felt like nothing could touch us. Those memories used to feel like a curse, constantly reminding me of what was lost. But now, they just feel like what they are: pieces of my past.

It doesn’t mean I’m completely “over” him. Maybe I never will be, and maybe that’s okay. Loving someone that deeply, even if it doesn’t last forever, is a rare thing. It’s a kind of love that changes you, that teaches you about yourself in ways you didn’t expect. For me, it’s meant learning how to carry those memories without letting them weigh me down, and I think I’m finally getting there.

I’ll always have love for him. But today, I can drive by those places and not feel like I’m falling apart. That feels like progress, and for now, that’s enough.